I can relate to all artists living in a world of internal mental chaos made by having the sensitivity to observe the details of every motion, emotion, thought and physical trait within them, within their surroundings and within fantasies their imagination weaves as it gets fed by infinite details of details. I can relate to the artists obsessed with expressing themselves within their vivid worlds, through their art seeking a way to capture, understand and share their experience of life. I can relate to the body (mental, emotional, physical), being overloaded by stimulants, the nervous system flaring up with “aliveness” and the flow of energy within it. I can relate to feeling the taste of pleasure on one’s tongue without the physical presence of the pleasured.
In my head, in my rawest, most honest view of myself, in my mind’s eye, I am a gypsy; big wild hair, layers of accessories from all spaces, flowy dress that dances in the wind, jingling anklets echoing the music of my unresting steps, voice loud and clear and in love with its own sound, sings, bosom on fire with desire for passionate, lustful, romantic, uninhibited love making with myself, with the world, with life. Wild gypsy, unstoppable, uncontrollable, uncapturable. Wild, dramatic, life gushing out of my every pore, every hair, every curve, every breath. Life, drunk with life.
Wild gypsy lives her life as a form of art making, the latter a form of love making. I paint on the walls of my life and they are no longer walls, they are windows to further possibilities. My every string of words is poetry. My voice sings as the wind carries my dancing body across the vast, expansive, lush ballroom that is the Earth, the playground that is the Cosmos. I paint and sing and dance and paint and sing and dance and paint and sing and dance till my body is saturated by its achieved potential, drenched in a sea of sweet sweat infused by the scent of wild loving. I float, carried by the sea. I float. I surrender. I let go. I melt into the arms of the Divine. I defragment. I become all that I loved. Pieces of me live in all the details. I am no longer. There just is. Wildness.