30 August 2010
..a thank you note..
..As far as I can remember, I have always been bursting with energy. Be it as a baby (constantly crying), at school (trying to be a writer/singer), as a teenager (another attempt to be a singer plus poet plus artist plus social rebel), at university (trying to be a dancer/drama queen) and even today (picking random fights with my boyfriend/barely sleeping).
..I always throbbed with dramatic/highly hopeful energy, but there is only one person who brought guts to the equation and taught me to share my energy with the world, colour life in rainbow colours. And today, this note goes to him.
This one person is the only ex whom when I look at our pictures and recall our shared memories that mainly span over a period of one year only, I feel nothing. And feeling nothing about an ex, is something.
This person taught me how to be daring, random, crazy, loving, giving, proud, confident and know no boundaries. He took me by the hand, and all he did was give me the "why not?" look. And I did it. I did it all.
He did so not only by showing me a peak of joy and "fun", but also by driving me to the bleak nadirs of clinical depression. And although my heart ached, and I could not sleep for two months, I was thankful, for when it was over, I was reborn (with a cigarette between my fingers nonetheless, a tip I could not but follow from a friend who said, "here's a pack, so that when you're depressed you don't commit suicide, just smoke", a consequence I overcome a few years later, easily).
This person, among plenty of ex friends who left their mark and departed my scene, has contributed to my success as a living individual today, and when I open my red box full of memories, I look at him and feel nothing. Nothing at all, but perhaps some thankfulness.