"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."
"I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."
"There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past."
- George Carlin